"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean what I said earlier. I'm driving now to your place, I love you," I read the message one more time before I pressed the send button. I tossed the phone on the passenger's seat and turned on the radio. Feeling a little thirsty my left hand searched for a can of beer beside my phone. One hand on the wheel while the other held a can; my mind being filled up with random thoughts of us breaking up. I finished my beer with three huge gulps and tossed it aside. My eyelids felt like cement blocks are tied to them. I gave the clock at the dashboard one quick glance, it says 2:00a.m.
I opened my eyes and was surprised to see the world upside down.
"Is someone still there?!"
"Hey! Hey! I can see someone!"
"What?! Hey someone's still inside!"
"Why are they shouting? What's happening?" These thoughts flood my mind along with the blinding pain I felt on my leg. "Ugh, wha- wha's wrong?" I mumbled words I myself can't understand. A broken Nokia phone lay on the ground beside the sea of broken glass. A strong smell of gasoline filled the air, making my eyes tear. Things started to happen fast--people shouting, the smell of gas growing stronger, the feeling of pain slowly going away along with the feeling in my right leg, and then the spark.
I saw a large pillar of black smoke rising from the wreckage of a crash. Fire licked the sky surrounded by a sea of faces. Police said the guy driving the Honda fell asleep that resulted in the crash; the guy was burned bad and only dental records can help identify who he is. I stood amidst the chaos, no one seemed to notice I was there. A shadowy figure tapped my shoulder and beckoned me to come. I don't know him, but something tells me that I should follow. I took one last look at the mess before turning my back.
Jun 26, 2008
Jun 22, 2008
Captive
Waking up each time from recurring nightmares,
unable to peacefully sleep at night.
Afraid of the shadows and the invisible stares,
Feeling helpless and unable to fight.
Trying to overcome my darkest fears.
Struggling to find the light.
Weakening from the shadow's leers.
Suffocating from the thick darkness.
Feeling that Death is near.
Surrounded by pain, confusion, and sadness,
Fearing the inconspicuous.
I slowly lose my mind, slowly falling to complete madness.
Struggling is of no use,
Fighting to get a hold of sanity,
Beaten by the shadow. I'm left wounded and abused.
Every second feels like eternity,
How long can I hold on?
Before I'm overtaken by insanity.
I reach out my hand shouting for your name,
I reach out my hand...
hoping you'll see and do the same....
unable to peacefully sleep at night.
Afraid of the shadows and the invisible stares,
Feeling helpless and unable to fight.
Trying to overcome my darkest fears.
Struggling to find the light.
Weakening from the shadow's leers.
Suffocating from the thick darkness.
Feeling that Death is near.
Surrounded by pain, confusion, and sadness,
Fearing the inconspicuous.
I slowly lose my mind, slowly falling to complete madness.
Struggling is of no use,
Fighting to get a hold of sanity,
Beaten by the shadow. I'm left wounded and abused.
Every second feels like eternity,
How long can I hold on?
Before I'm overtaken by insanity.
I reach out my hand shouting for your name,
I reach out my hand...
hoping you'll see and do the same....
Jun 12, 2008
Sweet Suicide
The cold, wet earth embraces my body
As I lie buried here under the burning stars.
Six feet below is where I placed myself
Staring silently at the dark, gray night.
The moon never looked so close.
Death is near,
and my whole life flashes before me.
Slowing down as it got to you.
The first time I drowned within your gentle eyes,
The first time I saw your beautiful face.
Your hands I longed to hold.
My heart calling out to you,
wishing you could hear its
Every beat offered to you.
But the cruel hands of faith started
To weave its deadly web.
Allowing our paths never to cross.
I stare at you from afar,
bewitched by your enchanting smile.
You hold the hands of another.
The one you truly love.
I smile knowing you would be happy with him,
I cry knowing I wanna be with you.
Deep inside I slowly die.
I lie slowly fading beneath this heavenly body, the soft earth
Eating its way through my skin.
I closed my eyes one last time,
Trying to burn your face within my mind,
Afraid that Death will allow me to forget.
I hold tight at memories of you,
Knowing you were my sweet suicide.....
As I lie buried here under the burning stars.
Six feet below is where I placed myself
Staring silently at the dark, gray night.
The moon never looked so close.
Death is near,
and my whole life flashes before me.
Slowing down as it got to you.
The first time I drowned within your gentle eyes,
The first time I saw your beautiful face.
Your hands I longed to hold.
My heart calling out to you,
wishing you could hear its
Every beat offered to you.
But the cruel hands of faith started
To weave its deadly web.
Allowing our paths never to cross.
I stare at you from afar,
bewitched by your enchanting smile.
You hold the hands of another.
The one you truly love.
I smile knowing you would be happy with him,
I cry knowing I wanna be with you.
Deep inside I slowly die.
I lie slowly fading beneath this heavenly body, the soft earth
Eating its way through my skin.
I closed my eyes one last time,
Trying to burn your face within my mind,
Afraid that Death will allow me to forget.
I hold tight at memories of you,
Knowing you were my sweet suicide.....
G'nyt
With each tick of the clock
my eyes grow heavy.
With each tick of the clock
I slowly grow sleepy.
The night slowly spreads,
as the moon rises to the sky.
Stars slowly take their place,
burning, dancing, across the purple shaded sky.
I lie on my bed and wait
for Sleep to fully take over me,
I lie on my bed and wait,
for the dreams the night has for me.
my eyes grow heavy.
With each tick of the clock
I slowly grow sleepy.
The night slowly spreads,
as the moon rises to the sky.
Stars slowly take their place,
burning, dancing, across the purple shaded sky.
I lie on my bed and wait
for Sleep to fully take over me,
I lie on my bed and wait,
for the dreams the night has for me.
The Man in the Mirror
I carefully look in the mirror,
a stranger looks back.
A complete unknown,
with a face hurt and worn out...
I touch his face
and the stranger in the mirror
does the same.
Each movement is a complete copy...
I touch the surface of the mirror,
feeling the smooth, glass surface.
I carefully trace the face of the man
in the mirror. Wounded and sad.
Eyes that reflect the pain time had caused.
A face covered with invisible scars that
will never mend. A man battered
by fear and worn out by time.
Tears roll down my face as I
stare back at the man in the mirror.
Tears filled with endless pity,
and the urge to reach out and give help.
The man in the mirror cracks
a smile. Eyes filling up with tears.
Trying to say something,
trying to ask for help.
Tears flood his eyes,
as he whispers something
to me. I heard it and I too
start to cry, when I realized
that the man in the mirror
was not a stranger. The man in
the mirror was someone I know,
I realized that the man is me...
a stranger looks back.
A complete unknown,
with a face hurt and worn out...
I touch his face
and the stranger in the mirror
does the same.
Each movement is a complete copy...
I touch the surface of the mirror,
feeling the smooth, glass surface.
I carefully trace the face of the man
in the mirror. Wounded and sad.
Eyes that reflect the pain time had caused.
A face covered with invisible scars that
will never mend. A man battered
by fear and worn out by time.
Tears roll down my face as I
stare back at the man in the mirror.
Tears filled with endless pity,
and the urge to reach out and give help.
The man in the mirror cracks
a smile. Eyes filling up with tears.
Trying to say something,
trying to ask for help.
Tears flood his eyes,
as he whispers something
to me. I heard it and I too
start to cry, when I realized
that the man in the mirror
was not a stranger. The man in
the mirror was someone I know,
I realized that the man is me...
Downpour
Rain slams down on the rooftop,
lightning rips the dark sky,
breaking clouds in half.
Water cleanses the earth,
quenching the thirst of the dry land,
washing away sadness and dirt.
I stand below the dark clouds,
allowing the rain to wash me away,
listening to the thunder and rain's pitter-patter sounds.
Flashes of lightning turn the sky white
followed by the loud crash of thunder,
I lift my face up, rain blurring my sight.
Wet, tired, and broken.
I fall down to my knees,
wishing for this misery to end.
I watch as the rain wash away the hate,
drowning my callous heart,
letting the rain to vindicate
me. I really wish that things
didn't turn out this way.
Wishing you were still here with me.
The world seems to grow darker,
as more clouds gather,
the rain slowly growing stronger.
As the rain carefully washes me away,
I suddenly realized you were standing before me,
smiling, as the rain slides down your pretty face.
You reach out your hands
and hold mine. Time seems to stop
as we hold hands and you helping me stand.
You hug me tight,
tight enough for me to feel your love,
Tight enough to let me know that things are alright.
We stand together below the pouring rain,
as I hold you within my arms and our skins touch,
I realize that the world seems brighter....
lightning rips the dark sky,
breaking clouds in half.
Water cleanses the earth,
quenching the thirst of the dry land,
washing away sadness and dirt.
I stand below the dark clouds,
allowing the rain to wash me away,
listening to the thunder and rain's pitter-patter sounds.
Flashes of lightning turn the sky white
followed by the loud crash of thunder,
I lift my face up, rain blurring my sight.
Wet, tired, and broken.
I fall down to my knees,
wishing for this misery to end.
I watch as the rain wash away the hate,
drowning my callous heart,
letting the rain to vindicate
me. I really wish that things
didn't turn out this way.
Wishing you were still here with me.
The world seems to grow darker,
as more clouds gather,
the rain slowly growing stronger.
As the rain carefully washes me away,
I suddenly realized you were standing before me,
smiling, as the rain slides down your pretty face.
You reach out your hands
and hold mine. Time seems to stop
as we hold hands and you helping me stand.
You hug me tight,
tight enough for me to feel your love,
Tight enough to let me know that things are alright.
We stand together below the pouring rain,
as I hold you within my arms and our skins touch,
I realize that the world seems brighter....
Jun 2, 2008
Passing by...
Lover walking by, hands held tight. Love lingers in the air, cupid's arrows blot out the sun. Lovers look at each other, the twinkle in each other's eyes proclaiming of eternity of life that'll drown in bliss. The exchanging of "I love you's" come from every corner, slowly hearts became one. Promises are made, sealing them with kisses and love forever true. In a dark corner I sit, I who look seemingly out of place amidst all the love and infatuation. Within my frail hands I hold a small delicate heart, slowly beating, slowly bleeding. A heart once full of joy and hope, a heart that experienced love and to be loved, a heart that felt the harshness of the world, stabbed with betrayal, and slowly it lose life. I hold my heart tight, hugging it close to my empty chest, afraid of finally losing it, afraid of losing myself. But, right then and there, you came. Out of all the oblivious people, you stretch out your hand, you slowly help me stand, you slowly bring back what once was lost.
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