TOrN LiGHt

Frustrations

2009-10-27T04:46:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see you

There’s a deep silence within me,

The world goes out of focus,

Until you’re all that I can see.

Time will start to move slow

Going to a full stop.

You look at me

And my mind stops.

My knees will freeze

And words will turn to nonsense.

I can’t help but look at you.

Because in you, everything makes sense.

You’re turning every moments

Unforgettable.

You make living

Bearable.

You smile at me

And colours will splash into my world.

But this happiness won’t last,

Simply because you don’t belong in my world.

Time will start to move again

And the colours once more will vanish.

Life will go on,

And I am left alone, lost in my wishes.

You will go back to your world

And I will remain in mine,

A life of black and white, dreaming

Of the day you’ll finally be mine.

Wings

2009-10-27T04:44:00.001-07:00

Out in the open field

I stand and gaze at the night sky

Dreaming I have wings and I can fly,

Because then I will bring you to the stars.

Using my dreamer’s wings

To the moon you I will bring.

We will sit on clouds in the purple sky

As the stars sing to us from up high.

They will dance around you

As they sing about you

And we will laugh with our hands held tight.

We will soar above Egypt

Above the silver sand and pyramids.

I will bring you to France

Atop the Eiffel tower we will dance.

We will dance all the way to Chicago

With nothing but clouds beneath us as we go,

We will hope the night will never end.

And when you grow sleepy

In my arms you I’ll carry.

I’ll ask the stars to sing you lullabies

As the moon say her goodbyes.

I’ll whisper you a goodnight,

A sweet dream and a sleep tight.

As I fly you to your bed.

Teardrops slide down my face

As reality hits me on the face

I open my eyes

And see myself standing in the open field.

I pack my dreamer’s wings away

Waiting to use them another day

With you…

I look up at the night sky,

Thinking if you’re dreaming tonight.

I close my eyes and whisper to you,

“Thank you for the night…”

Afternoon read at the school lobby

2009-09-24T04:56:00.000-07:00

He sits on a wooden bench, holding an open book in his hands—one hand for each side. The pages are brown from age. He reads using his eyes.

“The winter air was cold, biting into the skin of the bare arms of the two strangers. Somewhere in the night a wolf howled into the pale moon, the winter wind howled with it. The two strangers gripped their spears tightly, their eyes focused on the darkness, their ears alert, their face expressionless. The wolf continued on howling…”

The summer afternoon is hot, beads of sweat forms on his forehead. A drop slowly rolls down on his cheeks and onto page 32 of his book. The drop made a dark spot on the yellow page. He turns the page and continues to read…

“He could see his own breath. He doesn’t know where Tigerpaw was—everything happened fast, one moment they were looking for trail and then It attacked him from behind—they got separated right after. He continued on running. A deep wound rested on his right shoulder, a wound he got from Its claws. Drops of blood fell on the white winter snow, turning it black under the moonlit sky. He gripped his spear using his good hand. Somewhere in the night Tigerpaw’s screams echoed.”

The buzzing sound grows louder. Students are now flooding the lobby. Lunchtime is over. They sound like flies, pestering him, buzzing around his head. He hears glimpses of words: “He’s so cute!” “Let’s eat there again tomorrow…” “Back to studying again” “Hey…” “I know!” He absentmindedly wipes sweat from his forehead using the back of his left hand. He holds the book once more. He focuses on the letters of the book, trying to mute out the crowd. The letters burn in his eyes. The buzzing grows louder…

“Hawkeyes fixed his gaze on the devil wolf’s eyes—red and merciless. They burn into your soul, they hunger for blood. The devil wolf was as large as Hawkeye, if not, larger. Its paws dug deep into the winter snow. The devil wolf released a snarl. Its yellow teeth held in full display. Drool hung on its blackened lips. Hawkeyes held in his left hand the blade of his spear—the only thing left after its encounter with the devil wolf’s claws. For the first time in his life Hawkeyes felt fear. The devil wolf howled into the huge winter moon. Hawkeyes shouted his battle cry. The devil wolf leapt towards him—its huge claws, sharp and deadly, which Hawkeyes knew dug deep into Tigerpaw’s chest now hunger for Hawkeyes. Hawkeyes gripped the blade tightly and charged forward…”

A hand tapped his shoulder. You have a pen? The hand asks him. He nods. Can I borrow it for a short while? The hand continues to rest on his shoulder. He looks at the bottom part of the page of his book, it says 150. He closes the book and lays it on his lap. He gets the backpack beside him and reaches a hand inside. He tries to feel for a pen—papers, his notebook, and further inside, his pen. He takes it out and hands it to the hand. Thanks, it said. He reaches for his book. He tries to remember the page. 149? 148? No, it was 150. He opens the book to page 150 and scans the page for where he left off.

“Hawkeyes opened his eyes and saw the countless stars burning in the winter sky. He tried to remember what happened. The only thing that remained clear in his mind was that he managed to stab the devil wolf’s side. Hawkeyes tried to move but a sharp pain that rose from his right shoulder hindered him. He tried to touch his injured arm but felt nothing. He tilted his head to the right and saw his right arm, about three feet away from him. Suddenly images came flooding in his mind, starting with the face of Tigerpaw. Hawkeyes remembered.”

The sound of the hundreds of voices droning pervades the air, it pervades his mind. He can no longer concentrate on what he’s reading. Try as he might to tune them out, he always ends up in frustration. He tries to read.

“The looming figure of Tigerpaw towered above Hawkeyes, naked and sweating. Hawkeyes was still surprised to find Tigerpaw alive, surprised that…”

The voices continue to disturb him. The hand is back. It now rests on his shoulder. It’s time for class, it says. You coming? The hand leaves his shoulder and reaches something on the table. It reaches for his pen. Hey, we’re going to be late. The hand continues to pester him. The voices continue to increase in volume. The flies continue to buzz around his ears. He tries to continue reading.

“Hawkeyes tried to stand up with the help of Tigerpaw’s support. Hawkeyes’ wound on his right shoulder was patched with snow, to try to stop the bleeding. Hawkeyes looked pale. Tigerpaw explained to him everything: how he was alive, how he was cursed one winter night, and how the devil wolf and he are one. Tigerpaw stated that he loses control over himself each time he changes into the great beast. The wound that Hawkeyes managed to give the devil wolf helped Tigerpaw achieved control over the beast’s body. Hawkeyes fell to his knees. He had lost a great amount of blood. He stared at Tigerpaw’s face, the face of the devil wolf. Tears were streaming down Tigerpaw’s cheeks. Snowflakes slowly came raining down.”

Somewhere in the hallway the bells of a clock chimes. The hand is back, it keeps on poking him on the shoulder. The bell’s ringing, class is starting, and we are going to be late—the hand keeps on repeating the same statement. He slowly breaks into a cold sweat, he lets go of his book and reaches inside his left jeans pocket for a handkerchief. The handkerchief is black in colour, with bright sunflowers printed on them. He wipes his forehead. The buzzing of the flies is not stopping. The hand uses the pen now for poking him. He just wants to read. He takes a deep breath, and then exhales. He releases a scream. The flies become silent, the hand stops moving. He stands up and snatches the pen from the hand; he grins and stabs the hand using the pen. The hand screams in agony, blood slowly flows from the wound. He smiles. He sits down and reaches for his book; he opens it to page 200. I just want to read, he whispers under his breath.

Love at First Sight (Clare Cavanagh)

2009-05-13T03:28:00.000-07:00

THEY'RE BOTH CONVINCED
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways—
perhaps they've passed each other a million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember—
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver?
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember

They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.

Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

Love at first sight by Wislawa Szymborska

2009-05-13T03:23:00.000-07:00

--I first encountered this poem while watching the Chinese movie "Turn Left, Turn Right". This is the version translated by Walter Whipple...I'll try to upload the other version translated by Clare Cavanagh--

Both are convinced
that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together.
Beautiful is such a certainty,
but uncertainty is more beautiful.

Because they didn't know each other earlier, they suppose that
nothing was happening between them.
What of the streets, stairways and corridors
where they could have passed each other long ago?

I'd like to ask them
whether they remember-- perhaps in a revolving door
ever being face to face?
an "excuse me" in a crowd
or a voice "wrong number" in the receiver.
But I know their answer:
no, they don't remember.

They'd be greatly astonished
to learn that for a long time
chance had been playing with them.

Not yet wholly ready
to transform into fate for them
it approached them, then backed off,
stood in their way
and, suppressing a giggle,
jumped to the side.

There were signs, signals:
but what of it if they were illegible.
Perhaps three years ago,
or last Tuesday
did a certain leaflet fly
from shoulder to shoulder?
There was something lost and picked up.
Who knows but what it was a ball
in the bushes of childhood.

There were doorknobs and bells
on which earlier
touch piled on touch.
Bags beside each other in the luggage room.
Perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night,
suddenly erased after waking.

Every beginning
is but a continuation,
and the book of events
is never more than half open.

-translated by Walter Whipple

Angel

2009-05-13T03:21:00.000-07:00

I don't understand love--
They cry over it,
They laugh because of it,
They die for it,
They live for it...
I don't understand love...
I don't understand them.

You created me
And sent me here,
To dwell in the midst of them.
For a hundred years,
Since the day I was born
Out of Your will,
I've observed how they lived--
I saw how they hated
And wanted and needed and smiled,
I saw how frail and weak
They are, but still
You've held them dear and
Considered them above us.
I don't understand them.

I've walked this earth
And have seen everything
There is to see.
But love is something
Out of my grasp.
I looked up at the sunrise
And questioned your knowledge,
Why create such a complicated emotion--
Where people cry and smile
At the same time.
Where they bleed
Not on the outside
But on the inside...
You were silent...

Then You led me to her,
And something inside of me
Started to move--
Like it was being unfolded,
Being revealed.
Like gears of a clock
Moving once more.
I was born without the ability
To feel and yet here I am,
Smiling...
I stood in front of her
And whispered softly in her ear:
"I've waited for a hundred years,
Walking the face of this earth,
Just to say to you that I love you."
Tears started sliding down my cheeks
Towards the smile forming on my lips.
I was hurting and smiling.
Finally I understood...

Loveless

2009-05-13T03:17:00.000-07:00

---this was a poem I saw while playing Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core... this poem was often read by Genesis---

Prologue
When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting.

Act I
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take it to the sky
Ripples form on the water’s surface
The wandering soul knows no rest.

Act II
There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds
Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh.

Act III
My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow
My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return.

Act IV
My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess
My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber
Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world’s end
The wind sails over the water’s surface
Quietly, but surely.

Act V
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice.

Piece by piece

2009-02-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

I walk down this melancholic street,

down the cold, pavements...

I see them in their tattered clothes,

the beggars on the streets, the present day's ailments.

Hunger burning in their eyes,

poverty evident in their smell.

The cold is their shelter,

life is their own personal hell...

I see them,

I see them everyday...

I ignore them, pass by them,

and I lose a part of me day by day...

I see an old man everytime I go outside,

a broken smile forming on his wrinkled face.

He weakly shakes a rusty, empty cup,

asking for something to put his hunger to ease.

His hair shines silver with old age,

his eyes reflect pain, and dismay.

his smile nothing but an empty facade.

I pass by him, and lose a part of me away...

*i was suppose to post this last christmas but sadly i wasn't able to....

The Art of Drowning by Billy Collins

2009-02-14T19:54:00.001-08:00

I wonder how it all got started, this business
about seeing your life flash before your eyes
while you drown, as if panic, or the act of submergence,
could startle time into such compression, crushing
decades in the vice of your desperate, final seconds.

After falling off a steamship or being swept away
in a rush of floodwaters, wouldn't you hope
for a more leisurely review, an invisible hand
turning the pages of an album of photographs-
you up on a pony or blowing out candles in a conic hat.

How about a short animated film, a slide presentation?
Your life expressed in an essay, or in one model photograph?
Wouldn't any form be better than this sudden flash?
Your whole existence going off in your face
in an eyebrow-singeing explosion of biography-
nothing like the three large volumes you envisioned.

Survivors would have us believe in a brilliance
here, some bolt of truth forking across the water,
an ultimate Light before all the lights go out,
dawning on you with all its megalithic tonnage.
But if something does flash before your eyes
as you go under, it will probably be a fish,

a quick blur of curved silver darting away,
having nothing to do with your life or your death.
The tide will take you, or the lake will accept it all
as you sink toward the weedy disarray of the bottom,
leaving behind what you have already forgotten,
the surface, now overrun with the high travel of clouds.

On Turning Ten by Billy Collins

2009-02-14T19:53:00.001-08:00

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

Nightclub by Billy Collins

2009-02-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

You are so beautiful and I am a fool
to be in love with you
is a theme that keeps coming up
in songs and poems.
There seems to be no room for variation.
I have never heard anyone sing
I am so beautiful
and you are a fool to be in love with me,
even though this notion has surely
crossed the minds of women and men alike.
You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool
is another one you don't hear.
Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful.
That one you will never hear, guaranteed.

For no particular reason this afternoon
I am listening to Johnny Hartman
whose dark voice can curl around
the concepts on love, beauty, and foolishness
like no one else's can.
It feels like smoke curling up from a cigarette
someone left burning on a baby grand piano
around three o'clock in the morning;
smoke that billows up into the bright lights
while out there in the darkness
some of the beautiful fools have gathered
around little tables to listen,
some with their eyes closed,
others leaning forward into the music
as if it were holding them up,
or twirling the loose ice in a glass,
slipping by degrees into a rhythmic dream.

Yes, there is all this foolish beauty,
borne beyond midnight,
that has no desire to go home,
especially now when everyone in the room
is watching the large man with the tenor sax
that hangs from his neck like a golden fish.
He moves forward to the edge of the stage
and hands the instrument down to me
and nods that I should play.
So I put the mouthpiece to my lips
and blow into it with all my living breath.
We are all so foolish,
my long bebop solo begins by saying,
so damn foolish
we have become beautiful without even knowing it.

I Chop Some Parsley While Listening To Art Blakey's Version Of "Three Blind Mice" by Billy Collins

2009-02-14T19:50:00.002-08:00

And I start wondering how they came to be blind.
If it was congenital, they could be brothers and sister,
and I think of the poor mother
brooding over her sightless young triplets.

Or was it a common accident, all three caught
in a searing explosion, a firework perhaps?
If not,
if each came to his or her blindness separately,

how did they ever manage to find one another?
Would it not be difficult for a blind mouse
to locate even one fellow mouse with vision
let alone two other blind ones?

And how, in their tiny darkness,
could they possibly have run after a farmer's wife
or anyone else's wife for that matter?
Not to mention why.

Just so she could cut off their tails
with a carving knife, is the cynic's answer,
but the thought of them without eyes
and now without tails to trail through the moist grass

or slip around the corner of a baseboard
has the cynic who always lounges within me
up off his couch and at the window
trying to hide the rising softness that he feels.

By now I am on to dicing an onion
which might account for the wet stinging
in my own eyes, though Freddie Hubbard's
mournful trumpet on "Blue Moon,"

which happens to be the next cut,
cannot be said to be making matters any better.

Flames by Billy Collins

2009-02-14T19:50:00.001-08:00

Smokey the Bear heads
into the autumn woods
with a red can of gasoline
and a box of wooden matches.

His ranger's hat is cocked
at a disturbing angle.

His brown fur gleams
under the high sun
as his paws, the size
of catcher's mitts,
crackle into the distance.

He is sick of dispensing
warnings to the careless,
the half-wit camper,
the dumbbell hiker.

He is going to show them
how a professional does it.

Embrace by Billy Collins

2009-02-14T19:47:00.000-08:00

You know the parlor trick.
wrap your arms around your own body
and from the back it looks like
someone is embracing you
her hands grasping your shirt
her fingernails teasing your neck
from the front it is another story
you never looked so alone
your crossed elbows and screwy grin
you could be waiting for a tailor
to fit you with a straight jacket
one that would hold you really tight.

Richard Cory by Edwin Arlington Robinson

2009-02-14T19:43:00.000-08:00

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him:

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean-favoured and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,

And he was always human when he talked;

But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

"Good Morning!" and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich, yes, richer than a king,

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine -- we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked and waited for the light,

And went without the meat and cursed the bread,

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet in his head.

Together

2008-11-17T04:03:00.002-08:00

Blood drips from my ruby red lips,
I carry her within my arms.
Pale, weak, and dying,
she weakly utters: "Oh my love, drink from my blood."
I close my eyes, open my mouth, and sink my fangs
into her pearly white neck. She moans, then silence.

I carry her into the blinding darkness, into the silence.
A silent whisper escapes from her white lips.
She whispers inaudible words. I can see her growing fangs.
All color escapes her, as blood drips from her neck. She slowly dies in my arms
Through the darkness, I can hear the dripping..I can smell her blood.
I softly whisper to her: "There is nothing sweeter than dying."

After all, this is only the beginning. Dying.
I carefully lay her dead body into the darkness, into the silence.
Her white gown now a crimson red, a dark shade of blood.
I sit beside her body, gazing at her closed eyes, her white cheeks, her pale lips.
I touch her wrist, feeling no pulse in her ghostlike arms.
Still being able to taste her blood on my lips, her neck touching my fangs.

She opens her eyes, her pupils glow red, her teeth now fangs.
She rises to her feet, I can see her through the dark, through the dying.
I too rise to my feet as she welcomes me into her arms
I drowned my face into her chest, into the darkness, into the silence.
I look up at her face. So pale and smooth. A smile forms on her lips.
"We'll be together forever," she says. Her eyes glowing crimson as blood.

Two souls sharing the same body, within our veins run the same blood
She draws her face close to mine. Her lips touching mine. Her fangs
touching mine. She tastes of strawberry, her breath so sweet, so red are her lips.
I hold her within my arms. I want to be with her, through life, through dying.
She presses her lips once more to mine. We kiss, in the darkness, in the silence.
I can feel her skin touching mine. I feel like melting in her arms.

I don't want to leave her side. I don't want to leave her arms.
I suck in her scent. Her sweet, sweet scent. Sweeter than blood.
We stand together within each others' arms, in the darkness, in the silence.
Just the mere thought of her not in my arms cause me to feel a strong pang.
To be without her, is to be human feeling the bitter pain of dying.
I want her. Her crimson eyes, her ivory skin, her sweet lips

I release her from my arms, she smiles at me showing off her fangs.
I can still feel her lips pressing onto mine, her sweet blood on my tongue.
Drowning within each others' eyes. I feel happy, in the darkness, in the silence.

One

2008-11-17T04:03:00.001-08:00

I saw you crying again today,
I approached you and said
that everything's going to be okay.

YOu looked at me, your eyes
filled with tears. You said
that you had enough, enough of lies.

You said that everything's not okay
and they will never be.
I just stood there...not knowing what to say.

Deep inside I was hurting.
Not knowing what to do.
Each tear that fell from your eyes left me dying.

Your eyes turned red from crying.
Your heart slowly breaking.
Slowly weakening, dying.

I could see the scars on your wrist
One cut for each night you were hurting.
SIlent agony ripped my heart, I don't want you like this.

I embraced you and tried to make
you feel that you're not alone.
That I am here, always will be for your sake.

I held your delicate face within my
hands wiping away the tears,
the sadness. Allowing pain to die.

I whispered to your ear
that I love you and will never leave you.
My heart beats only for you, my love, my dear.

You looked at me with hazel, brown eyes,
traces of fear lingered along your stares.
You wondered whether I'm telling lies.

I just smiled back at you.
Allowing my love to explain
that what I'm feeling was true.

You closed your eyes
and gently kissed me upon the lips.
Those sweet, red lips upon mine. Bliss.

I could feel your sweet breath
upon my face. Breathe me in.
They became my oxygen--your lips, your breath.

You opened your eyes and
we both allowed ourselves to drown within
each others gaze. I wished then that it'll never end.

Our fingers intertwined.
Our soul slowly became one.
My heart was yours, and your heart mine.

We just stood there.
Two individuals among the sea of faces...
Promises were made. Our lives we now share.

Broken

2008-11-17T04:01:00.001-08:00

She sits in the darkness of the room crying...
Alone,
tired,
hurting...
Tears streaming down her
doll like face--
her tears mixing with the black mascara
she carefully applied in her eyes.
Making patches of black under her eyes...
Her tears, now black with mascara, stream
down her face, sliding down her cheeks,
kissing her scarlet lips....
one by one,
dropping down to the ground,
like priceless pearls...
The thick silence coating the
tangible darkness is slowly broken
by her melancholic sobs...
The darkness of her corner
slowly disappears as she is
lighted by the fading sunlight,
by the twilight,
and now by moonlight,
she weeps, a broken doll,
far beyond repair...
As her features are highlighted
by the silver light of the moon,
she lifts her hands and reaches towards
the open window...
She reaches for the stars,
for healing,
for someone who's not there,
for someone she loved...
The clouds gather up
and hides the moon.
She once again drowns
within the darkness,
her sobs turning to silent laughter.
Her sanity slowly evaporating.
Tears continued to pour down
her eyes.
The sounds of tears dropping
mixing with the melancholic laughter
she's producing...
And in this insanity,
she finds freedom....

The Fool

2008-11-17T03:56:00.000-08:00

You held my hand in the past
until you found someone else better.
I can't blame you for what you've done,
you deserve someone better.

Now I see you together with him,
his eyes reflecting your perfect face.
His hands holding yours.
Your heart belonging to him, now and always.

My heart slowly erodes into pieces,
each time his name escapes your lips.
A melancholic smile forms on my face,
to hide away my heart that quietly weeps.

You think of me nothing more
than just a friend.
I think of you something more.
An angel, heaven sent.

An angel given to me by God,
but foolishly I didn't see
your true worth. Not until
you got hurt and left me.

When I try to look back
at those times you were there at my side.
At those times I left you crying, at those
times I left you hurting, breaking from the inside.

I placed my face within my palms,
and tears gushed out of my eyes.
I never thought I could hurt this way.
Your love for me disappeared before I even realized.

You hold his hands and allowed yourself
to drown within his eyes. For your soul
to be reflected within his deep, loving eyes.
I'm left here with my pain and sadness.
No longer a man, but just a broken hearted fool.

Cycle

2008-11-17T03:51:00.000-08:00

Life starts with opening your eyes
and with the feeling of waking up from
a magical dream.
It starts with sitting in front of
the TV, watching Sesame Street all morning.
Eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner using your hands.
Making a mess and not cleaning it up.
Saying words only you can understand.
It starts with your heart fully alive, your soul radiant.

Life then enters school.
Finger paint and ABC's.
Where you'll learn that the Wolf
was always the villain, and how
Little Red Riding Hood and the
three little pigs escaped his evil clutches.
Where you will meet new friends.
Eating using proper utensils.
Where, during the cold nights of Halloween,
you'd put on your cowboy costume and
go door to door collecting candies.
And when December comes you'd
rush outside and play with the snow.
Lying on the soft, white blanket of snow.
Throwing imperfectly shaped snow balls.
It is when you believed in Santa Clause and
the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
It continues with your heart alive, your soul innocent.

Life goes on. You continue to live.
Your sweet angelic voice disappears.
Your face slowly losing its roundness and softness.
This is when you have to go to High School.
This is when quadratic equations will be learned,
and you learn that we are not alone.
That somewhere, in this vast universe,
there is someone thinking that they are not alone.
This is when Santa Clause dies,
and the Tooth Fairy were actually your parents.
This is when you love all the girls you see
but telling each one of them your heart is only theirs.
This is when pimples and muscles and knowledge appear.
This is when your heart weakens, your soul losing its life.

High School and College will pass... and life goes on.
You will graduate and will become one of the
faceless individuals of society.
This is when you will work to be somebody,
to gain more money. You will work because
it is what adults do. It is how their
fathers lived and how their fathers' fathers lived.
You will wake up on a sunny morning and put on your
suit and tie and your polished shoes. Then you
will kiss your wife goodbye and drive your way
to your office. You will go home at night
and eat dinner together with your family.
Tell jokes, and laugh.
It ends with you going to bed and sleep, waiting
for the unending cycle to repeat itself once again.
This is when you tell your kids that
Santa is real, so is the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
And your kids will believe you. Kids always believe.
This is when your heart dies and your soul becomes a stranger.

Life ends with you lying on bed
surrounded by your loved ones and
the people who thought themselves
as members of your loved ones.
It will end with you weak.
Your skin all wrinkled up
and your eyes going dim.
Your head will go bald and you will always go sick.
It will end with you and Death face to face.
It will end.
After your final breath of air you'll die.
You will open your eyes and be in a different place.
This is when your heart welcomes you back,
your soul becoming your friend.
This is when you go back to that magical dream.

The Trade

2008-11-17T03:27:00.000-08:00

Hundreds of burning eyes
pierce through me like
spears set aflame.
Hundreds of pointing fingers
blame me, for the
failure that I am.

Hundreds of hurting words
were thrown at me like
stones willing to break the soul
Hundreds of hands grab me,
tearing away my skin,
leaving me naked, exposing my all.

I stayed in a corner,
curled up and scared.
I could see their faces surrounding
me. I stayed in my corner,
eyes closed, afraid. It was maddening.

They picked me up
with their blood, stained hands.
They blame me for their faults.
They carried me to the altar.
I was the sacrifice for their faults.

My hands were bound by
tight ropes, so were my legs.
My eyes remained closed.
I don't wanna see their faces,
and the huge, pillar of smoke that rose.

They stood there
surrounding me.
I tried to calm myself, I didn't want to see....
I recited the alphabets backward, silently.
They took the torch and lit me up, Z, Y, X, W, V...

I could smell the burning of flesh.
I could hear their laughter, their victory.
They were forgiven.
I could hear my voice, screaming from the pain.
But they were forgiven.

Hole

2008-09-02T22:33:00.001-07:00

My heart beats only for you,
can you hear it?
Time came when I offered it to you,
hoping you'd accept it.
Time pass and you slowly
grew tired of it.
Broke it.
Shining, glistening, pieces of it
now lie scattered like a sea of glass.
Slowly beating, crying.
I pick them up one by one.
Their sharp edges scarring me, wounding me.
But no scar, no wound, was more painful
than the huge hole you left on my chest.
Can you see it?

Kiss

2008-09-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

My mouth achieved a life of its own.

My eyes were held captive within your eyes--

eyes that were brighter than any sunrise,

more beautiful than any priceless stones.

They were pools that reflect your soul.

A foolish smile hung on my sweating face.

I gave up on trying to control my rogue mouth.

I just allowed myself to drown deeper

and deeper within your bottomless gaze.

To allow my soul be merged with yours.

I never realized that my heart was now

pounding hard on my chest.

Trying to break free from the

imprisonment of my rib cage.

The world around us seemed to stop.

Time, reason, life...frozen around us.

You stretched out your hand and

touched my face.

Your velvet touch sent a surge

of electricity all over my melting body.

How can something so beautiful

be here in front of me?

A silent laugh escaped your lips

as if you just read my thoughts.

Subconsciously I drew my face closer to yours,

and you drew closer to mine.

You closed your eyes and our lips touched;

they felt magnetic being drawn closer to each other.

Your red, cherry lips brushing against mine.

Your sweet breath sent my mind to overload.

After an eternity you pulled back.

Still smiling, you whispered words

my ears can't seem to hear.

I leaned in closer: hoping I could pick up what

you were saying.

But a sudden flash of white light surprised me:

I was lying on my bed.

A dream I said to myself.

I laughed like a madman:

Nothing but a dream.

A dream that will forever remain locked within

the grasp of Sleep's pale, ghostlike hands.

I touched my lips trying to remember what it felt like:

Her red, cherry lips touching mine,

Being able to kiss a goddess' lips.

Man from the Dark

2008-07-08T03:51:00.000-07:00

The moon rose above the purple, starless sky, its radiance being shed upon men once again. A figure stood alone, hidden within the darkness. His gaze was towards the moon, half smiling. Though his whole self was clothed within the shadows, his eyes were clearly visible---bright red, like rubies, crimson as blood. Those red, piercing eyes looked towards the silver moon. The night is young he thought, he completely merged within the shadows, slowly he disappeared into the night.

Tired and drained of all energy, she kept on running. Tears streamed down her face. Her whole body wanted rest; fear stirred within her as she continued on running. Behind her a man followed---wearing tattered clothes, and a knife held within his hands. A knife that looked like it experienced a lot of cutting in the past, tasted a lot of blood from different victims, marked itself with their death. Like a beast, the man silently followed his prey. He smiled, showing his incomplete set of dentures, he gripped his knife tightly. He can almost hear it, the sound of someone being stabbed repeatedly. The sound of someone dying. He patiently followed the girl as the girl kept on running.

Blood dripped from his lips, he wiped it with his sleeve. A body of a young boy lay beside him. His eyes burned crimson red. He glanced toward the moon, no longer silver but now also a shade of red. He lifted the body and disposed it inside the nearby dumpster. He still felt unsatisfied; he still craved for more. The feeling of draining someone else's life, the sheer pleasure it gives. His victim's blood, he can still taste it. He licked his sleeve, trying not to waste any of the boy's blood. He can feel it within him, the urge to feed, the unquenchable thirst for more. Still feeling hungry, he once again disappeared into the night.

She stopped for a moment, trying to catch her breath. She heard footsteps approaching and started to run once more. The man behind her whistled to himself a tune, a song of old, as he tried to enjoy the moment. She tripped herself and fell hard to the ground. She tried to get up ignored the blinding pain from her leg. The man slowly grew tired of playing cat and mouse and quickly increased his speed and runs to the girl--he grabbed her hair and pulled it hard. Once more she fell to the ground. A mixture of tears and fear flooded her eyes, they streamed down her pale cheeks, and slowly died on her lips. Like a cornered prey, she whimpered in fear. The man reached for her but she frantically kicks him. She screamed loudly. But to him, the girl's screams were like sweet music, like a song being sung in an opera, it's relaxing. He violently swung his knife, creating cuts on the girl but trying not to kill her. The girl tried to get up but the man overpowered her. He pulled her back towards the ground; she screamed some more. The man closed his eyes and tried to savor the sweet sound his victim's producing. The sound of someone crying for help, the sound of someone about to die.

He glides through the night, sensing everything that is happening around him. The forsaken, the damned, the beast of the night, some of the names given to his kind. He abhors each one of those names, names which men calls his kind. Throughout history, his kind is pictured as someone lower than men. But to him it was the opposite. Men's very existence is to serve as a meal. The red blood pumping within them, circulating their body, tempting to be drained. As he reflects on his thoughts, a scream shatters the silence of the night. He can smell the sweet scent of blood hanging in the air. He makes out a small smile, showing off his fangs. He heads towards the source of the scream.

Cuts and blood cover the girl's legs, the man smiles at his carvings. Consciousness slowly escapes the girl, strength slowly escapes her body through the cuts. The man growing tired of his games holds the knife upwards and is about to plunge it to the girl's chest when he saw something move in the shadows. "Who's there?" The man slowly approaches the place where he saw the movement.
"What a detestable way to kill," the voice seems to come from everywhere, "you know sir, you should try to preserve your victim's body instead of ruining it like that."
"Who are you? What do you want?" the man points his knife to nothingness as if to scare away the disembodied voice.
"Who am I? I am the creature that lurks in the night, I am the one that has live for eternity, I am the king of the damned, I am one of the forsaken, my name sir is of no importance," said the voice, "and you sir are the one who has killed five young ladies for the past week, what is it that they call you? The Carver right?"
"You with the cops? You don't come near me, I swear I'll kill this lady here," The Carver points his knife to the immobile body of the girl.
"I'm afraid I won't allow a good dinner to go to waste," said the man from the darkness. "I really advice you to just walk away and turn yourself to the authorities."
"Hahah, you crazy? Now why would I do that? Enough of your talking, I think I'll kill you first before I kill this girl here."
But as The Carver run to the man from the darkness he saw the man's eyes, clearly for the first time. Eyes with the color of fire, burning everything in its path, red as the blood he sucks from his victims, eyes filled with hate, with pain, with power. Melancholic eyes that seem to stare into eternity and beyond, eyes that had witnessed multiple deaths both from his hands and from other's. Never before had The Carver seen eyes filled with power, and iniquitous, and sadness. The Carver unconsciously drops his knife, unimaginable fear slowly swells up within him, gripping his heart like a vice, robbing him with the every breath he exhales. The Carver falls to his knees, his right hand clutching his chest tight. His heartbeat slows down until his heart isn't breathing anymore. The Carver dies on his knees--sheer terror painted on his face, dried tears printed on his cheeks, a sculpture representing horror and fear.
The man from the darkness slowly approaches the girl, his feet not touching the ground. The girl regains consciousness and sees the man standing over her. The man helps her stand, he's tall she thought. She looks at his crimson eyes and slowly feels her knees weaken; she closes her eyes. The man opens his mouth revealing his white fangs plunges them deep into the girl's neck, slowly draining away the pain, slowly draining away the sadness and confusion, liberating her from life.

Night Drive

2008-06-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean what I said earlier. I'm driving now to your place, I love you," I read the message one more time before I pressed the send button. I tossed the phone on the passenger's seat and turned on the radio. Feeling a little thirsty my left hand searched for a can of beer beside my phone. One hand on the wheel while the other held a can; my mind being filled up with random thoughts of us breaking up. I finished my beer with three huge gulps and tossed it aside. My eyelids felt like cement blocks are tied to them. I gave the clock at the dashboard one quick glance, it says 2:00a.m.

I opened my eyes and was surprised to see the world upside down.
"Is someone still there?!"
"Hey! Hey! I can see someone!"
"What?! Hey someone's still inside!"
"Why are they shouting? What's happening?" These thoughts flood my mind along with the blinding pain I felt on my leg. "Ugh, wha- wha's wrong?" I mumbled words I myself can't understand. A broken Nokia phone lay on the ground beside the sea of broken glass. A strong smell of gasoline filled the air, making my eyes tear. Things started to happen fast--people shouting, the smell of gas growing stronger, the feeling of pain slowly going away along with the feeling in my right leg, and then the spark.
I saw a large pillar of black smoke rising from the wreckage of a crash. Fire licked the sky surrounded by a sea of faces. Police said the guy driving the Honda fell asleep that resulted in the crash; the guy was burned bad and only dental records can help identify who he is. I stood amidst the chaos, no one seemed to notice I was there. A shadowy figure tapped my shoulder and beckoned me to come. I don't know him, but something tells me that I should follow. I took one last look at the mess before turning my back.

Captive

2008-06-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

Waking up each time from recurring nightmares,
unable to peacefully sleep at night.
Afraid of the shadows and the invisible stares,
Feeling helpless and unable to fight.
Trying to overcome my darkest fears.
Struggling to find the light.
Weakening from the shadow's leers.
Suffocating from the thick darkness.
Feeling that Death is near.
Surrounded by pain, confusion, and sadness,
Fearing the inconspicuous.
I slowly lose my mind, slowly falling to complete madness.
Struggling is of no use,
Fighting to get a hold of sanity,
Beaten by the shadow. I'm left wounded and abused.
Every second feels like eternity,
How long can I hold on?
Before I'm overtaken by insanity.

I reach out my hand shouting for your name,
I reach out my hand...
hoping you'll see and do the same....

Sweet Suicide

2008-06-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

The cold, wet earth embraces my body
As I lie buried here under the burning stars.
Six feet below is where I placed myself
Staring silently at the dark, gray night.
The moon never looked so close.
Death is near,
and my whole life flashes before me.
Slowing down as it got to you.
The first time I drowned within your gentle eyes,
The first time I saw your beautiful face.
Your hands I longed to hold.
My heart calling out to you,
wishing you could hear its
Every beat offered to you.
But the cruel hands of faith started
To weave its deadly web.
Allowing our paths never to cross.
I stare at you from afar,
bewitched by your enchanting smile.
You hold the hands of another.
The one you truly love.
I smile knowing you would be happy with him,
I cry knowing I wanna be with you.
Deep inside I slowly die.
I lie slowly fading beneath this heavenly body, the soft earth
Eating its way through my skin.
I closed my eyes one last time,
Trying to burn your face within my mind,
Afraid that Death will allow me to forget.
I hold tight at memories of you,
Knowing you were my sweet suicide.....

G'nyt

2008-06-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

With each tick of the clock
my eyes grow heavy.
With each tick of the clock
I slowly grow sleepy.
The night slowly spreads,
as the moon rises to the sky.
Stars slowly take their place,
burning, dancing, across the purple shaded sky.
I lie on my bed and wait
for Sleep to fully take over me,
I lie on my bed and wait,
for the dreams the night has for me.

The Man in the Mirror

2008-06-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

I carefully look in the mirror,
a stranger looks back.
A complete unknown,
with a face hurt and worn out...

I touch his face
and the stranger in the mirror
does the same.
Each movement is a complete copy...

I touch the surface of the mirror,
feeling the smooth, glass surface.
I carefully trace the face of the man
in the mirror. Wounded and sad.

Eyes that reflect the pain time had caused.
A face covered with invisible scars that
will never mend. A man battered
by fear and worn out by time.

Tears roll down my face as I
stare back at the man in the mirror.
Tears filled with endless pity,
and the urge to reach out and give help.

The man in the mirror cracks
a smile. Eyes filling up with tears.
Trying to say something,
trying to ask for help.

Tears flood his eyes,
as he whispers something
to me. I heard it and I too
start to cry, when I realized

that the man in the mirror
was not a stranger. The man in
the mirror was someone I know,
I realized that the man is me...

Downpour

2008-06-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

Rain slams down on the rooftop,
lightning rips the dark sky,
breaking clouds in half.

Water cleanses the earth,
quenching the thirst of the dry land,
washing away sadness and dirt.

I stand below the dark clouds,
allowing the rain to wash me away,
listening to the thunder and rain's pitter-patter sounds.

Flashes of lightning turn the sky white
followed by the loud crash of thunder,
I lift my face up, rain blurring my sight.

Wet, tired, and broken.
I fall down to my knees,
wishing for this misery to end.

I watch as the rain wash away the hate,
drowning my callous heart,
letting the rain to vindicate

me. I really wish that things
didn't turn out this way.
Wishing you were still here with me.

The world seems to grow darker,
as more clouds gather,
the rain slowly growing stronger.

As the rain carefully washes me away,
I suddenly realized you were standing before me,
smiling, as the rain slides down your pretty face.

You reach out your hands
and hold mine. Time seems to stop
as we hold hands and you helping me stand.

You hug me tight,
tight enough for me to feel your love,
Tight enough to let me know that things are alright.

We stand together below the pouring rain,
as I hold you within my arms and our skins touch,
I realize that the world seems brighter....

Passing by...

2008-06-02T01:59:00.000-07:00

Lover walking by, hands held tight. Love lingers in the air, cupid's arrows blot out the sun. Lovers look at each other, the twinkle in each other's eyes proclaiming of eternity of life that'll drown in bliss. The exchanging of "I love you's" come from every corner, slowly hearts became one. Promises are made, sealing them with kisses and love forever true. In a dark corner I sit, I who look seemingly out of place amidst all the love and infatuation. Within my frail hands I hold a small delicate heart, slowly beating, slowly bleeding. A heart once full of joy and hope, a heart that experienced love and to be loved, a heart that felt the harshness of the world, stabbed with betrayal, and slowly it lose life. I hold my heart tight, hugging it close to my empty chest, afraid of finally losing it, afraid of losing myself. But, right then and there, you came. Out of all the oblivious people, you stretch out your hand, you slowly help me stand, you slowly bring back what once was lost.

Abandoned....

2008-04-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

My heart wavers
from pain to melancholy.
Robbed of the opportunity to
experience the bliss life has to
give. Bound by sadness till
kingdom come.
Not knowing what happiness
truly is, I lie here waiting.
Waiting for you to free me,
waiting for you to comfort me.
My eyes turn red from all the tears
I cried. Each tear screaming for
your name. You didn't came.
My heart drowns in confusion,
my love for you falters,
your face slowly being etched away
within me. I feel so numb, yet so hurt.
The question forever remains,
did you not love me?
The question slowly tearing away my
facade. Leaving nothing but a
pitiful creature. Crying from the pain,
numb from all the hurt, dead for eternity....

The prison within....

2008-03-12T04:19:00.000-07:00

I.
My heart drowns in infelicities,
its weight pulling me down.
Sadness, anguish, malice,
doubt, travail. They linger
within my heart. Occupying
every corner, every space,
constantly pulling me down.

II.
I drown within my
heart, my mind is locked in
a melancholy state.
The chains the darkness
conjures holds me captive.
Unable to break free I gradually give up.
Each passing day
I lose sight of who I really am, I continue
on sinking deeper into the abyss.

III
This deep chasm
becomes my prison,
my life, my all. In here
each passing second becomes
a tiny forever.
A forever of gloom,
chains, and nothingness.
I pull and I pull
but the chains that bind me never break.
My strength slowly dries up, along
with my spirit, along with my soul.

III
I turn into a lich, dried to the bones.
The winds from the darkness
continue its beating on my body,
freezing my every part.
The cold bites into my skin,
with its razor sharp teeth,
it never dies out.
Chained and beaten,
I continue my suffering
in the never ending
winter nights.

IV
I wake up,
oblivious to the time.
Time has no meaning
in this forsaken land,
where the sun never shines
and the nights continue forever.
Where the stars are dead,
and the moon is painted red.
Where the wind is alive,
and eats away your flesh.
The land that is within my heart.
I fall back to sleep once again.

V
I lie bruised
and the wind has
scarred me with its
bites. The chains still
bind me, I slowly lose
sanity. The line between
sanity and insanity
vanishes bit by bit.
I laugh and I cry,
hearing myself I grew
terrified. Scared of who I
became. The line
completely disappears.

VI
Death never looked
so beautiful....
Its sweet voice calling me
within the dark.
I feel its cold touch
upon my wounds.
I can feel its breath
right before me.
It's calling me,
asking me to come forward,
offering me serenity,
offering me sanctuary.
The chains slowly come loose,
my hands and legs break free.
I fall into Death's cold arms,
to forever sleep, cradled into
Death's chest....

Black Roses

2008-02-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

Black rose petals
Rain down on this earth,
Covering the soil with
Their dark, sweet scent.
The heartless and the loveless
Gather, under the rain of black roses.
The fools dance in circles,
Catching the petals with their faces.
And I stand amidst this gathering,
The gathering of the heartless,
Loveless, and the fools.
Where the tears have dried on our faces,
And the hurt and the scars
Forever carved on our body.
We invite you to join us,
and march along the
Broken hearts parade....

Welcome To The Broken Hearts Parade!

2008-02-14T04:59:00.000-08:00

Valentine's is here, a day for lovers to come together and a day for others to break their hearts....

One-Sided Love

2008-02-14T04:53:00.000-08:00

Why do i feel like this?
Each time our eyes meet,
my heart rapidly beats faster.
Butterflies fluttering within me.

Nausea slowly creeps in,
with each step my head feels lighter.
Feels like I'm stepping on clouds.
Each step directed towards you.

The curve of your lips
each time you smile so sweetly,
it's warmth melts my once frozen heart,
just like in January thaw.

The look of your eyes,
burning into my mind.
Trying to forget about them is futile,
my mind is captivated.

You ensnared my heart
with chains that forever binds.
You hold the key that opens the lock,
I am yours.

But I can't ask you to stay with me,
maybe because happiness can't be
found in me.... I have no gift
with making others around me happy.

Misery is the only thing
that you can get from me.This melancholy
presence that surrounds me,
may only leave you scarred and wounded.

I tried to stop chasing after you,
and days turned to weeks,
then to years. Finally you found
someone that brings the smile on your face.

Another heart that unites with yours,
another heartbeat that rhymes with
your own. You found love with another one.
But then, why do the tears don't stop falling from my eyes?

Night on the 14th of February.....

2008-02-14T04:52:00.001-08:00

I sit cross-legged on my bed,
waiting for sleep to visit me.
I stare across the dark room,
upon the window where
the moon shines her light.
The dark mingles with the
silver presence of the moon,
flooding my room with
silver and black. I stood up
and walked towards the window.
Staring up the starry sky.
Where stars dance and look
down upon us.
Their flaming body granting us
light on this dark night.
A painting hand-drawn by God himself
is this night sky. With a touch of violet
and a shade of black, in the center
hangs the moon. With the stars
dancing around her.
I stare with awe at the night,
with it's different creatures
singing their songs to the moon.
At an instant, whilst I was held
captive by the beauty of the night,
your face appeared in my mind.
I closed my eyes and saw your face
so vividly, with your every feature
imprinted clearly in my mind.
With your eyes sparkling like the tiny stars
of the sky, and your lips curving into a smile.
The moment I opened my eyes,
I saw you standing in front me.
Your facade glowing with the
radiance of the moon.
I lifted my hand and tried to touch your face,
trying to discern whether you're
really there.
I felt your face, your skin so warm.
Your lips seem to move,
as if you're trying to say something.
But, little by little, you start to fade
into the dark of the night.
I smiled at myself,
and laughed a silent laugh.
Fooled by the moon with her simple
tricks. And as I took one last look at the
night sky, I beckoned sleep to come.
I lie on my bed, and before my whole
consciousness fell into sleep's arms.
I whispered to myself: "I love you",
Wondering if you heard them,
wondering if you too looked up and was captivated
by the night at the same time I was.
Wondering if you whispered
the very same words too.....

Halcyon Days

2008-02-07T07:40:00.000-08:00

Those moments which I deeply cherish,
slowly fades,
they slowly perish.
Goodbye halcyon days....

Good times replaced by sadness,
anger, and pain.
Staying alive fighting to stay sane.
Goodbye halcyon days....

The smiles that warm my heart
completely disappears,
happiness slowly falls apart.
Goodbye halcyon days....

Good times turn to distant memories,
the once warm heart
slowly turns obdurate.
Goodbye halcyon days....

And as time progresses,
with each tick of the clock,
a part of me dies, until the day comes
that I become nothing than a dead memory
rotting within the minds of men....

Goodbye halcyon days.....

Poison

2008-02-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

Such a fool to fall in love with you,
I laugh at myself for loving you,
for I know dreams don't come true,
you won't love me like how I love you...

Days will pass and will turn to weeks,
each passing second your face I always seek.
Like sweet poison weakening my body,
your smile, your eyes, each passing day I long to see.

Each time you pass me by,
I whisper to myself "I love you",
wishing you would hear...
wishing you would say "I love you too...".

My heart aches for all the times I see you,
it shouts your name,
each beat proclaiming my love for you,
I wonder if you can hear it? Hear each beat offered to you.

I try to approach you,
but each time I do
my mind goes blank,
I no longer know what to do.

The desire to hold your hands within mine,
to feel your soft skin, to drown within your eyes.
The urge to be close to you,
wishing to myself someday to be with you.

And just like a dose of poison
that slowly destroys the body,
my one sided love for you
slowly destroys me piece by piece...

On this plain of ice...

2008-01-24T03:36:00.000-08:00

On this plain of ice I stand,
a plain of ice, void of all life.
White covers the land.
The sky a shade of gray.

The sun hides himself from the world.
Sluggish clouds float from atop.
Gusts of wind push me down to my knees.
The cold slowly creeps to this cadaverous shell I call my body.

Snow falls from the sky,
covering my head with white.
Tears fall from my eyes,
freezing in mid-air.

My body goes completely numb,
my soul, my heart.
Emotions are gone,
void of all feelings.

The snow covers my body,
I kneel down feeling nothing.
My body completely under the snow, I can't rise.
Life slowly escapes me in this plain of ice.

2008 here i come....

2008-01-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

As the year 2007 slowly comes to it's end,
so is another chapter of my life....
And behold, a new one begins!

Happy new year guys!! Another year, another set of poems(and i hope i could improve in my story writing). anyways hope you guys still visit my blog, tnx for all the comments and criticisms(yes even those are worth thanking for). those who became part of my 2007 I thank you, and i hope you'll all still be there in my 2008. Godspeed everyone!

Tricks of the night..... chapter 2

2007-12-31T06:07:00.000-08:00

The silver moon hangs above the starless sky, strands of cloud covers it's beauty. Night has fallen once again and Jack stands in front the rusty gates of the cemetery, having second thoughts of what to do. Part of him wants to know what the dream he had last night really meant, or if that was really just a dream and nothing more. Jack firmly holds the chain that locks the rusty gates, Jack closes his eyes trying to decide what to do. A small breeze escapes the graveyard and blows pass Jack, at that very moment a cold chill run down his spine. Not because of the breeze but because of what he heard along with the breeze. The same voice, the same female voice that was calling Jack in his dream and after he woke up. Only this time he can hear it clearly, soft and enchanting. "Jack, Jack," it keeps on repeating. Each repetition louder than the last. Jack tries to cover his ears, trying to block off the sound. He feels like his slowly losing grip of sanity, the voice invades his mind. Holding a firm grip of his consciousness. Jack falls down to his knees, and without knowing it, he shouts. "Hey, you ok dude?" A passerby taps Jack's shoulders, looking at him with scared eyes. Jack lets go of his ears, the voice completely gone. "Ah, uhm, yeah, yeah, I... I'm all right. Hahahah...." "You sure dude? I mean you were kinda screaming you're lungs out." Jack slowly stands up, and forces a smile. "Yeah, uhm, I had a headache, yeah, that's it, terrible headache, but it's gone now... Thanks for the concern. Hahah." The stranger nods then walks away, Jack carefully watches as he is left alone. "Get a hold of yourself Jack, we'll just have a look and prove that there's no ghost or whatever that's been messing with you," Jack says to himself. "Ok, this chains are a bit rusty but I don't think it'll be that easy to break them, I guess I just have to climb up."

Jack pulls himself up as he goes over the gates, Jack steadies himself then jumps to the ground.

The Failure

2007-11-27T05:52:00.000-08:00

I fall down to my knees,
battered and beaten.
Scars of my failures
cover my pale body.

All dried up,
with nothing left to give.
My wounded heart cries out for help,
it's slow beating echoes through the dark.

Life slowly escapes me.
The harder I try to live,
the harder I fall,
the more I bleed.

The scars that cover my body,
reminds me of times I tried, times I failed.
Misery lingers around me,
waiting to pounce over my helpless body.

The dreams I once had,
crushed by the cold grip of reality.
Dreams end once you open your eyes,
and see that they're nothing but fantasies.

A failure slowly being devoured by darkness,
I laugh at myself,
knowing it'll be the last laugh,
as I become lost in nothingness....

Our greates fear

2007-11-15T16:57:00.000-08:00

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

-the poem "Our Greatest Fear" by marianne williamson from her book "A Return to Love". Hope you guys like it.... ^^

Saved

2007-11-11T00:45:00.000-08:00

Sorrow dwells within me,
emptiness lives within my heart,
slowly eating me...
from the inside out.

When will all this end?
Each day becomes much worse.
Each day my heart grows numb,
feeling nothing, slowly dying.

My life slowly fades before me,
I no longer know who I am.
I strongly wish to be free,
to be free from this state I'm in.

All I see before me,
is nothing but sadness
and the inevitable death,
nothing but more pain, no place for happiness.

I look to You,
pleading, begging,
please save me I ask You,
save me from pain, from dying.

Remove this emptiness,
crush my stone heart.
Remove this sadness,
give me a new start.

Please give me freedom,
freedom from this empty life,
be my Savior,
save me from this pathetic life.

You look at me
eyes full of kindness I never knew,
You look at me,
and I feel you're love for me is true.

You gave me a new hope,
a reason to live,
You gave me a chance,
a chance to use the life you gave.

But still I can't do this on my own,
be with me and never forsake me,
I thank you for saving me,
in you true freedom I finally see.

Some instructions bout life and more....

2007-11-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

When you walk this road of cobblestone,
the road they call life.
When you walk this road with someone or alone,
here are some tips and warnings from someone of old.

When you meet Sadness greet him,
but don't let him stay.
When Misery follows you, run,
and keep her away.

Pain and Suffering will walk together,
learn from them,
heed their warnings and keep them forever.
After that move on...

Happiness may seem elusive,
but don't fret. She's just shy and careful.
Keep on seeking her, keep on courting her.
For soon her heart will be yours and life will be half full.

Anger will block your way,
get pass him.
He'll lead you astray.
He'll trick you and beat you, run from him.

And if by chance Misery caught up to you,
and you feel overpowered.
Keep your heart, and don't let her take it from you.
for with Misery, your trip will be short lived, and the road will end.

Run from Misery,
ask help from Happiness.
Avoid her lies and trickery,
else you'll end up like Sadness.

Kindness is Happiness' sister.
She's as fair and as beautiful as Happiness.
To find her will be far harder.
To find her, ask Sacrifice for help.

And when the end is near,
you'll meet one last person.
Death is his name and sometimes he's accompanied by Fear.
Don't let Fear stop you from reaching the end.

Fear is as despicable as Anger,
he'll push you from the road,
he'll trick you to stop you from reaching the end.
Ignore him and continue walking the cobblestone road.

When you start to feel tired and weak,
Death will carry you,
and will bring you to the end you seek.
Thank him, just like what I did before you.

And when the end is reached,
Death will introduce you to the One.
And you'll run towards him,
and your life will finally be full.

The things listed here are just some instructions,
instructions from a man of old,
instructions I hope will help you.
And instructions I hope you'll pass on when you've reach the age of old.

Injured

2007-11-04T03:54:00.000-08:00

I sit silently in a dark corner,
separated from the world.
The gap between reality and insanity,
I had already breached.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
surrounded each day by four padded walls.
Reality is but a distant memory,
madness is the category in which I fall.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
whistling a sad tune to myself.
A song which I can barely remember,
a song which we used to sing together.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
hearing whispers from people not there.
I sometimes hear your laughter, your voice so sweet.
Still pretending your here.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
I sometimes wish for it all to end.
At times I reminisce about us,
about how our love began, about our love's painful end.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
misery visits me each day,
sometimes accompanied by sadness,
They are the only ones I have, I listen to each word they say.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
weakly I take my medication.
The nurse smiles at me,
your face I momentarily see.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
my frayed heart bleeds,
each beat calls out to you,
each beat weaker than the last.

I sit silently in a dark corner,
your face I wish to see.
Just this once I wish, I ask,
"Will you come and sit beside me?"

Tricks of the night..... chapter 1....

2007-10-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

The night breeze blows past jack, his hat flies to the night sky taken by the wind. Jack curses under his breath then follows the hat. For a moment Jack loses sight of the elusive flying hat, but quickly spots it once more. The wind carries the hat inside the old abandoned cemetery, it stopped functioning long ago, closed down because of rumors of it being haunted by souls not wanting to leave this world. Jack approaches the gates of the cemetery, chained and locked, the dismal atmosphere of the place along with the rumors he once heard as a kid scares Jack. Second thoughts of letting his hat go and just buy a new one surfaces in his mind, but as Jack turns to leave a voice suddenly calls out to him. Jack turns to see who was it that called him, but he didn't notice anyone. Thinking it was just the wind, Jack leaves.

Jack slowly climbs to bed, and almost immediately sleep takes captive of him. Jack dreams. In his sleep the world is black and white, he's walking down a cobblestone road. He looks around him, no one was there. Only withering trees, a white sun above hanging on a pitch black sky. Jack resumes his walk, the cadaverous surrounding became reiterative. Same withering trees, same white sun, same everything resting under the black sky. Seconds seem like minutes and minutes turn to hours, Jack walks on though his mind says to stop. After what seems like an endless trek, the cobblestone road ended. In front of Jack lies a huge gate, locked and chained. Jack instantly recognizes the gate in front of him, it's the same gate as the one in the entrance of the condemned graveyard only larger. Jack can't see anything inside, a thick fog seems to be obscuring his vision. Jack turns to leave, but as he walk away a voice calls out to him. The voice was that of a female. The voice holds captive of Jack's mind, enchanting but at the same time terrifying, Jack loses control of his body. He walks towards the gate, not being able to walk away or look away, the voice fills his mind. That sweet, enchanting voice. As Jack reaches out to the gate a ghostly hand grabs his arm. Jack wakes up.

Sweating and bewildered by the peculiar dream, Jack sits down on his bed cross-legged. Inside Jack's mind the voice can still be heard, calling, waiting. Jack slowly climbs out of bed, he enters his bathroom and looks into the mirror. A pale face looks back, eyes bloodshot, with his hair in a mess. "Man I'm getting old, hearing voices in my head, freaky nightmares, what next?" Jack mutters to himself. Jack splashes his face with water, the voice slowly fades becoming nothing more than a horrifying nightmare. "One way to stop this nonsense... I'll go tomorrow."

Remnants of war

2007-10-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

Gun shots were heard everywhere, the land was stained red. Blood covered the ground, a small encounter between British soldiers and the Nazis left the air smelling of burned flesh and death. Cries of wounded men were heard miles away, cries of men still fighting from the grasp of Death's arms. It was a murky afternoon, the sky was painted red back then. The sun looked pale, smeared with a little black, large clouds of smoke rose from the ground. Even though the battle was over sounds of dying men still filled the air.

The date was 30th of May1942, three years before Hitler committed suicide and a day before the bombing of Cologne. War tore apart Germany--houses were destroyed, families were broken, sadness was everywhere. A small town was just attacked by British soldiers, a small boy was the only survivor. He was told by his father to hide and never come out no matter what. He obediently obeyed and hid under his bed. Moments pass and he heard a few screams, ear splitting screams. He heard his father pleading to someone, that was the first time he heard his father cry, it was also the last time. A loud voice came from an unknown speaker. "Kill them," the speaker said. He did not understood what it meant, it probably was English, his father knew English. His father continued to plead some more, now joined by the voice of his mother, then loud noises came from somewhere, or something. The air was filled with a burning scent, his father had stopped pleading, his parents remained silent. He did not realized it then but tears were streaming down his eyes. He waited till the men left. As he came out from under his bed he saw the body of his dead parents, his father shielding his mother before they were both shot to death. "Papa?" The little boy once full of innocence and ignorance tried to wake his dead father; confusion gripped his ignorant mind. He wondered why Papa was not moving, and why he was covered with sticky, red stuff. Outside the cries of other survivors filled the air--blood flowed down the street, bodies were everywhere. The boy gripping the hand of his teddy bear sat beside his dead parents crying.

After many years the little boy now an old man of 70, sits on a bench watching his grandchildren play. A little girl slowly approaches him. "Grandpa come play with us," the little girl reminded him of his childhood, full of dreams and ignorance. He smiled to the girl an empty smile. The year is now 2007, the Fuhrer was defeated long ago and now Germany is peaceful. The old man follows his grandchild, smiling, but deep inside his heart he'll forever be that little kid holding his stuff animal, dried tears glued on his cheeks, and eyes robbed of innocence in exchange of fear. A little kid that will forever be on that red, stained, sky afternoon of May 30 1942.

The Solemn Times...

2007-10-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

As all light vanishes--
Swallowed by the dominating darkness.
As my fleeting soul slowly dies out,
Memories of you pervade my mind.

As the setting sun slowly disappears behind the horizon,
As my stigmatized heart slowly stops to beat,
As the winds of sorrow blow past me,
Memories of you pervade my mind.

As the dark red moon rises to the sky,
Under the pitch black sky I will lie.
As the burning stars carefully take their place,
Memories of you pervade my mind.

Before all life is taken out of me,
Before that inauspicious last breath,
Time slows to a stop
As memories of you pervade my mind.

My life comes to an unimposing end.
And as my soul hangs limp in Death's damp arms,
And as tears of regret and pain rolls down my face
Memories of us pervade my mind.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

2007-09-24T04:58:00.000-07:00

Nightmare Before Christmas original poem

It was late one fall in Halloweenland,
and the air had quite a chill.
Against the moon a skeleton sat,
alone upon a hill.
He was tall and thin with a bat bow tie;
Jack Skellington was his name.
He was tired and bored in Halloweenland

"I'm sick of the scaring, the terror, the fright.
I'm tired of being something that goes bump in the night.
I'm bored with leering my horrible glances,
And my feet hurt from dancing those skeleton dances.
I don't like graveyards, and I need something new.
There must be more to life than just yelling,
'Boo!'"

Then out from a grave, with a curl and a twist,
Came a whimpering, whining, spectral mist.
It was a little ghost dog, with a faint little bark,
And a jack-o'-lantern nose that glowed in the dark.
It was Jack's dog, Zero, the best friend he had,
But Jack hardly noticed, which made Zero sad.

All that night and through the next day,
Jack wandered and walked.
He was filled with dismay.
Then deep in the forest, just before night,
Jack came upon an amazing sight.
Not twenty feet from the spot where he stood
Were three massive doorways carved in wood.
He stood before them, completely in awe,
His gaze transfixed by one special door.
Entranced and excited, with a slight sense of worry,
Jack opened the door to a white, windy flurry.

Jack didn't know it, but he'd fallen down
In the middle of a place called Christmas Town!
Immersed in the light, Jack was no longer haunted.
He had finally found the feeling he wanted.
And so that his friends wouldn't think him a liar,
He took the present filled stockings that hung by the fire.
He took candy and toys that were stacked on the shelves
And a picture of Santa with all of his elves.
He took lights and ornaments and the star from the tree,
And from the Christmas Town sign, he took the big letter C.

He picked up everything that sparkled or glowed.
He even picked up a handful of snow.
He grabbed it all, and without being seen,
He took it all back to Halloween.

Back in Halloween a group of Jack's peers
Stared in amazement at his Christmas souvenires.
For this wondrous vision none were prepared.
Most were excited, though a few were quite scared!

For the next few days, while it lightninged and thundered,
Jack sat alone and obsessively wondered.
"Why is it they get to spread laughter and cheer
While we stalk the graveyards, spreading panic and fear?
Well, I could be Santa, and I could spread cheer!
Why does he get to do it year after year?"
Outraged by injustice, Jack thought and he thought.
Then he got an idea. "Yes. . .yes. . .why not!"

In Christmas Town, Santa was making some toys
When through the din he heard a soft noise.
He answered the door, and to his surprise,
He saw weird little creatures in strange disguise.
They were altogether ugly and rather petite.
As they opened their sacks, they yelled, "Trick or treat!"
Then a confused Santa was shoved into a sack
And taken to Halloween to see mastermind Jack.

In Halloween everyone gathered once more,
For they'd never seen a Santa before
And as they cautiously gazed at this strange old man,
Jack related to Santa his masterful plan:
"My dear Mr. Claus, I think it's a crime
That you've got to be Santa all of the time!
But now I will give presents, and I will spread cheer.
We're changing places I'm Santa this year.
It is I who will say Merry Christmas to you!
So you may lie in my coffin, creak doors, and yell, 'Boo!'
And please, Mr. Claus, don't think ill of my plan.
For I'll do the best Santa job that I can."

And though Jack and his friends thought they'd do a good job,
Their idea of Christmas was still quite macabre.
They were packed up and ready on Christmas Eve day
When Jack hitched his reindeer to his sleek coffin sleigh,
But on Christmas Eve as they were about to begin,
A Halloween fog slowly rolled in.
Jack said, "We can't leave; this fog's just too thick.
There will be no Christmas, and I can't be St. Nick."
Then a small glowing light pierced through the fog.
What could it be?. . .It was Zero, Jack's dog!

Jack said, "Zero, with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

And to be so needed was Zero's great dream,
So he joyously flew to the head of the team.
And as the skeletal sleigh started its ghostly flight,
Jack cackled, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

'Twas the nightmare before Christmas, and all though the house,
Not a creature was peaceful, not even a mouse.
The stockings all hung by the chimney with care,
When opened that morning would cause quite a scare!
The children, all nestled so snug in their beds,
Would have nightmares of monsters and skeleton heads.
The moon that hung over the new-fallen snow
Cast an eerie pall over the city below,
And Santa Claus's laughter now sounded like groans,
And the jingling bells like chattering bones.
And what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a coffin sleigh with skeleton deer.
And a skeletal driver so ugly and sick
They knew in a moment, this can't be St. Nick!
From house to house, with a true sense of joy,
Jack happily issued each present and toy.
From rooftop to rooftop he jumped and he skipped,
Leaving presents that seemed to be straight from a crypt!
Unaware that the world was in panic and fear,
Jack merrily spread his own brand of cheer.

He visited the house of Susie and Dave;
They got a Gumby and Pokey from the grave.
Then on to the home of little Jane Neeman;
She got a baby doll possessed by a demon.
A monstrous train with tentacle tracks,
A ghoulish puppet wielding an ax,
A man eating plant disguised as a wreath,
And a vampire teddy bear with very sharp teeth.

There were screams of terror, but Jack didn't hear it,
He was much too involved with his own Christmas spirit!
Jack finally looked down from his dark, starry frights
And saw the commotion, the noise, and the light.
"Why, they're celebrating, it looks like such fun!
They're thanking me for the good job that I've done."
But what he thought were fireworks meant as goodwill
Were bullets and missiles intended to kill.
Then amidst the barrage of artillery fire,
Jack urged Zero to go higher and higher.
And away they all flew like the storm of a thistle,
Until they were hit by a well guided missile.
And as they fell on the cemetery, way out of sight,
Was heard, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good
night."

Jack pulled himself up on a large stone cross,
And from there he reviewed his incredible loss.
"I thought I could be Santa, I had such belief"
Jack was confused and filled with great grief.
Not knowing where to turn, he looked toward the sky,
Then he slumped on the grave and he started to cry.
And as Zero and Jack lay crumpled on the ground,
They suddenly heard a familiar sound.

"My dear Jack," said Santa, "I applaud your intent.
I know wreaking such havoc was not what you meant.
And so you are sad and feeling quite blue,
But taking over Christmas was the wrong thing to do.
I hope you realize Halloween's the right place for you.
There's a lot more, Jack, that I'd like to say,
But now I must hurry, for it's almost Christmas day."
Then he jumped in his sleigh, and with a wink of an eye,
He said, "Merry Christmas," and he bid them good bye.

Back home, Jack was sad, but then, like a dream,
Santa brought Christmas to the land of Halloween.

the end
poem by tim burton, just want to share it with you guys, they also made an animated film based on the poem above.....

Madhouse

2007-09-20T05:27:00.000-07:00

Laughter echoes down the hall,
along with the shrieks of pain.
Cries of anguish coming from all sides,
I close my eyes,
cover my ears for I don't want to hear.

Disconcert with reality,
trying to take hold of sanity.
Who am I?
Different personalities trying to get hold of my injured mind.

A wall of shadows rise up before me.
Stranded and forsaken,
nowhere to go, but here.
Lying down, hugging my knees.

The thin line between madness and sanity
is slowly being extinguished.
Is this the only escape?
Escape from this melancholy state.

Laughter again rises from the ground,
as cries of pain pervades my mind,
shouts of rage fill the coarse air.
As I carefully cross the line.

The Porcelain Mask

2007-09-05T04:19:00.001-07:00

Behind this mask lies another me,
another me which I try to hide.
Another me which I try to conceal,
the darkness lying inside.

But the darkness slowly creeps out,
deep inside me it is struggling for escape.
Deep inside me "Freedom" it shouts.
How long will I be in this miserable state?

How long can I hide behind this porcelain mask?
The mask smiles, but the inside cries.
How long can I keep the darkness behind this mask?
The mask smiles but inside sadness truly lies.

The mask hides what truly is inside,
a world of pain, sadness and death.
The mask hides things which must not be seen,
a man broken, gasping for precious breath.

I try to look around.
I see people around me,
they too are not that different
they also hide behind the porcelain mask like me.

The darkness within themselves they strongly hide,
I saw that they're just like me.
Only some are worse,
they do anything so others won't see the truth behind.

The different masks look all the same,
all the masks can be seen smiling and laughing.
But deep inside, what you thought were smiles and laughter,
are really sadness and the deafening sounds of dying.

Everyone's the same,
no matter what they do the darkness can always be seen.
The skeletons they hide behind their closets,
will always find a way for them to be revealed.

Cries of pain pour out of the holes
of my porcelain mask.
Each passing second seems like an eternity,
when will this end I always ask.

Drops of blood fall from my already broken heart
injured and weak it's beating carefully slows down.
I look up at the chocolate colored sky,
my heart's slow beating is the only sound.

The beauty of the stars
burns on my eyes.
What's next after all of this?
Will it finally stop? The sadness and the cries?

Behind the mask I smile,
a melancholic smile.
Tears suddenly slides down my face,
tears that slowly wash away the sad smile.

After a few moments it finally came,
my bleeding heart stops, and all the sadness die.
I peacefully fall down,
a man dies under the chocolate colored sky.

The Silver Maiden

2007-08-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

The silver moon shines down from above,
its reflection glows from the water.
The moon smiles down to the maiden sitting upon the rock
in the middle of the water.

She sings to the moon a melancholic tune,
the radiance of the moon slowly embraces her.
She closes her eyes as if becoming one with the moon,
I wish I too could embrace her.

I slowly approach the rock upon the water,
entering the light of the moon.
Its silver glow engulfs me,
I feel like I too had become one with the moon.

The maiden looks at me and shyly smiles,
I too look at her and her beauty caught my eyes.
Her smile mesmerizes even the strongest of minds.
I stay silent looking at her drowning in her stare, frozen like ice.

We held hands and a second lasted for eternity,
the simple thought of this being a dream I strongly fight.
Every moment passing by seems like precious memory,
memory of me and her under the silver light.

The dark clouds slowly cover the moon above.
The moon slowly disappears along with its light.
The moon slowly disappears, along with the maiden I love.
And as the moon appear once again, I stand alone under its silver light.

FooL

2007-08-14T06:38:00.000-07:00

My love for you will never die,
even though your love for me was never there.
My love for you will be forever true,
even though at times you don't care.

It's enough for me just to know your fine.
It's enough to know your happy.
it's enough for me to hear you laugh.
I just hope my love for you, you can see.

Once we were walking together,
I confessed my love to you
you took it as a joke
and didn't believe that it was true.

You laughed, and i did too.
My laughter then was hollow,
if you only you know my love is true
and that loneliness was behind my laughter's shadow.

My love for you will never die,
my love for you will be forever true.
My love for you will forever remain,
i just hope someday you will learn to love me too....

RainfaLL

2007-08-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

as the drops of rain fall from the darkened sky,
thoughts of you invades my mind.
can't remove them even if i try.

haunting me each night like sweet nightmares,
keeping me awake each time i try to sleep,
to forget you do i even dare?

your face i see
each time my eyes close
oh this curse when will i be free?

as the rain slowly stops and the clouds begin to part
as the sun slowly peeks from the gray sky,
the thoughts of me without you slowly tears my heart...

SoliTarY

2007-06-01T04:44:00.001-07:00

i am left in solitude thinking,
thinking when will this melancholy
heart reach it's end...
thinking if madness is the only escape,
thinking if the scars of life ever mend.
solitude has kept me,
people always betray me.
no soul hears my cry,
a cry of anguish and pain.
and as i look at the black sky above,
i felt my bleeding heart finally stop.
i felt my life...
finally end.

by Anonymous...

2007-05-29T04:20:00.000-07:00

her beauty hunts me every night,
her hand i want to hold real tight,
her face becomes my light,
i wonder if my love for her is alright....

hindrances are in every corner,
circumstances tries to keep me away from her,
my love for you is forever,
my only wish is for us to be together.

each night i sleep,
within my head the thought of you slowly creeps.
each time i look at your eyes they enchant me,
i just hope my love for you i can let you see....

i fight the thought of me destined to never have you,
even though those thoughts are true,
i know i can never have you,
but i just want you to know that my love for you will be forever true....

Stubborn love

2007-05-28T05:58:00.000-07:00

but what is love?
love is something most people wants to have.
love is giving your all.
mind, body and for some... soul.

i have once loved,
i loved a girl i know i can never have.
i'm such a fool cause i know i can't have her.
i'm so stubborn because i still love her.

i know i can't have her but i'm still coming,
thinking it would change something.
i know all my efforts were futile,
but still i'm wishing for her love even for just a while.

isn't love a weird one?
i can't have her but still i'm not stopping for anyone....
such a foolish heart i have.
don't know why but it is still you that it loves.

i know i can never have you
no matter what i do.
still, i'll forever love you
don't know why it's just something my heart tells me to do....

HOsTagE

2007-05-19T06:34:00.000-07:00

When can i escape from this darkness?
When can i break free from this bondage?
When can i stop this loneliness?
Sin has taken me hostage.

Tears of pain rolls down from my eyes,
sadness taking over me.
All hope slowly dies,
the light i can barely see.

Death knocks on my door,
grip of the abyss slowly takes my breath away.
Sadness so cold freezing the soul's core,
it just won't go away.

Shackled and torn apart,
tired of this so-called life.
Looking for a fresh start.
Finding the strength to strive.

Struggling from this bondage,
seeking a helping hand.
Will i be forever locked in a cage?
When can i escape from this forsaken land?

Tired from all this misery,
i just want this to end.
I just want to be set free.
When will this life end?

memento mori

2007-05-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

Life is a one way trip
After that you fall in a sleep so deep
A deep sleep no man can avoid
A sleep where you fall in a dark void.

Death is experienced by every man
Death comes and excludes no one
Each of our lives will come to an end
We live only once, then our body, to the ground will descend

Six feet below we will lie
For us, time will stop the moment we die
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Eternity depends on our actions past

Man will spend eternity either in heaven or hell
A place with golden streets or a place worse than prison cell
A place where angels sleep or a place where devils lay
A place of peace or a place where darkness stays

Eternity depends on your actions today
Our actions will decide where we will stay
Death isn't the end of man's story
Death is only the beginning of everyone's eternity
So live life with care and....
Memento Mori.

aLonE

2007-05-03T06:46:00.000-07:00

All alone, lying still.
The abyss slowly engulfs me.
My heart turning to ice, my emotions
dying out.
The world turning against me,
I against the world.
Alone and wounded,
my tears drying up,
my soul dying out.
Sorrow beckons me,
and as i close my eyes,
before that final breath...
"will someone miss me?"
the thought came to my head.
And as i take my final gasp of air,
an answer from darkness came:
"no."

Fade

2007-05-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

The sun slowly goes down,
sky turning orange, purple,
and then finally black.
Alone in a corner,
broken and unrepairable.
Thinking of memories i have with you,
just thinking of you.
Sadness slowly creeps by,
emptiness taking over me,
sensing no help,
i slowly disappear....

Torn

2007-05-03T05:44:00.000-07:00

As the night cripples my body,
As the moon shines on the dark, night sky.
As dry leaves make sounds,
as the wind howls in the cold night.
Small drops of blood fall from my torn heart.
The pain disappears along with
the emotions I had felt once before.
As the clouds cover the moon above,
as all light vanishes,
i am left alone,
crippled,
and torn.